Galornus Prime was the Scourge of Nations, Ender of Hope, and Master of the Cardinal Sins. He had done everything worth doing. Some of it more than once. His retirement plan was perfect: get a goat, farm quietly, and avoid accidentally conquering anything. Evil never sleeps . . . but it does plant turnips.

What the plan didn't include is soul-crushing town halls, after-school combat lessons with children, and a war with perhaps his most worthy nemesis yet: the rose-growing, seventy-three year-old widow next door. When corrupt officials and greedy merchants threaten his infuriatingly loveable neighbours, Galornus faces his greatest challenge yet: saving his village without revealing he's the very monster parents invoke to make children eat their vegetables.